Not A Teacher.

I’ve seen a lot of proud homeschooling mamas on social lately: pictures and posts about how much their many grade-leveled kids are learning at home and 100 reasons why they should have embraced this sooner because their families are now thriving.

That’s all great…but social can be a scary place…and homeschooling isn’t for everyone and I’ve realized (not surprisingly) that it’s especially not for us. I think I’ve mentioned I have a strong-willed, impulsive, “spirited” child, and our remote learning sessions usually end in tears (to be clear that could be either one of us on any given day). Trying to juggle a full load of shifting work priorities while also carrying the weight of your offspring’s education is just too much burden to bear. I’m either frustrated because he’s Zoom-bombing meetings (lately shirtless), or stressed because his graduating high school someday (cheers to the class of 2031!) is now somehow on my shoulders. And he’s equally vexed because the lines are blurred and he doesn’t want his mama to also be his teacher (again).

Every family and every household is different, but I think we all have aspirations for our children. For Jacoby, I simply want him to work hard and give his all (being first or fast isn’t always best), to always strive to be better (my son has a lot of false confidence), and to not be an asshole (goes without a parenthetical explanation).

We’ve spent a lot of time together in this COVID world and I’ve learned some of my boy’s drivers and triggers. He is competitive to a fault, but in a classroom setting, this can be his advantage. If someone reads better or does math faster, it not only humbles him, but makes Jacoby want to put in the work to catch up to his classmate. At home, we’re missing this dynamic. As the mom/fake teacher, I divvy out the workload his real teacher has assigned, and instead of sparking that urge to be his best self, I’m received by a flip, over-confident 7-year-old asshole who’s sick of me (hence ALL the tears). So yeah, homeschooling isn’t for us, and that’s ok.

Our city is taking a phased-in approach to the hybrid model and thankfully yesterday was Jacoby’s first day in an actual classroom in over six months. Fuck yeah! It was glorious; he was excited, I was excited, and next Tuesday just can’t come fast enough!